Why We Don't Do Santa
I believed in Santa until I was 13.
No lie.
And I was only a couple weeks away from my 14th birthday.
When friends tried to burst my snow-coated bubble, I stood my ground. “Santa doesn’t come to your house because you don’t believe in him” was my go-to response. If they pressed further and told me that their parents had said he’s not real, the principle still applied. Obviously, Santa would show up if their parents were on board.
And I really believed that.
It wasn’t until one Christmas when my younger brother opened a toy truck that my innocent faith in Santa came crashing down. You see, his present was labeled “From Santa Claus,” just as countless others had been over the years. The only problem was that I had seen this particular gift hidden under my parents’ bed a few days earlier.
And just like that, my jaw dropped and my eyes were opened. Suddenly, I wondered how I had never noticed that Santa and my mother had identical handwriting.
My parents had some serious explaining to do.
No Scrooge
Now, you might be tempted to conclude that the reason I haven’t continued the Santa tradition with my kids is because of some deep-seated bitterness stemming from the trauma of discovering the truth about Kris Kringle. I would ask you to resist that temptation. Granted, I definitely felt a sense of betrayal as I came to grips with more than a decade of deception from my parents. But it was never to the point where I'd have my future children miss out on the joy that came from believing in Santa.
So I’m no Scrooge—trust me. I’m no stranger to the Christmas spirit and the magic of this holiday. Even with my current awareness that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, my childhood memories around Santa haven’t been tainted in the least. I still fondly remember anticipating his annual visit, setting up cookies and milk and wondering what presents would surround the tree the next morning. It still brings a smile to my face when I think about the Christmas Eves when I would peek out my bedroom window, see a red light in the distant sky, and wonder if I was catching a glimpse of Rudolph’s nose. (Years later, I realized it was just an airplane.)
The bottom line is this: Christmas lists, Christmas carols, Christmas trees, Christmas lights, candy, presents, sugar cookies, tinsel-covered banisters, window candles, ugly sweaters, Miracle on 34th Street—I’m all for it. Any hard feelings toward my parents regarding Santa have been long resolved. In fact, I had every intention of picking up right where my parents left off and making Santa a regular part of my children’s upbringing.
Until I met my wife.
My Wife’s Way
When I met my wife, her son was almost two years old. We started dating in the spring of that year. By the time Christmas rolled around, the Santa conversation naturally came up.
I had been operating under the naïve assumption that every family that celebrated Christmas automatically included Santa Claus as part of that celebration (assuming they had young kids). So you can imagine my shock when my then-girlfriend informed me that she had no plans of introducing Santa into her son’s life. And she spoke about it very frankly, with no hesitation or regret. Actually, it didn’t even seem to be a debatable issue in her mind.
I couldn’t believe it. I had to hear her logic.
To my surprise, her line of reasoning was quite simple, actually. First, she didn’t wanna lie to her son.
Profound, right? I mean, even though I recognized that Santa was, strictly speaking, a lie, I guess I had always categorized it as an acceptable lie, or perhaps as just a pretend story. But then I realized that pretend play is generally a two-way street, where both parties are in agreement about what they’re pretending to do.
Her second reason was something that I, as a single man with no kids at the time, had never really thought about. Essentially, she argued that, were she to raise her son to believe in Santa, he would likely group Santa and God together, understanding them both to be real but unseen. And when that inevitable day comes, where either he discovers or she confesses that Santa was simply an imaginary figure, what kind of effect might that have on his view of God? That was her primary concern.
Should he be expected to uphold a belief in God after his belief in Santa was proven empty? Would his mom’s insistence on the reality of God carry any weight after a similar insistence on the reality of Santa? What trust would he have in his mother’s word at that point? To her credit, she was determined to set no roadblock on his path to faith.
When I truly paused and considered her perspective, I was soon won over. The stakes seemed higher than I had initially thought.
Bad Santa
Years later, as we married and had a daughter together, I devoted more critical thought to the Santa issue. I began seeing additional problems with incorporating Santa into our holiday routine, especially in light of some significant truths that we hoped to instill in our children.
As a brief caveat, let me just say that I don’t condemn those who opt to include Santa in their Christmas traditions. I also discourage my children from making it their business to ruin it for other kids. If they’re asked whether they believe in Santa, I want them to be honest about it, of course, but I don’t want them to purposely interfere with how another family has decided to celebrate Christmas. I’m also not on a mission to eliminate all things Santa. As long as my children know that the man from the North Pole is mythological, then we're good to go.
Nevertheless, for Christian parents especially, I believe there are some key factors to consider when approaching this topic. In addition to the two reasons that my wife avoided Mr. Claus, I found a couple others to add to the list.
1. Santa is given certain attributes that belong to God alone.
Consider the classic “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town”:
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness’ sake
What we have portrayed in these lyrics is an omnipresent and omniscient being. He’s everywhere. He’s with all of us. And he knows what we’re doing at every turn.
In addition, there’s a level of omnipotence in his miraculous feat of delivering presents worldwide before Christmas morning. These qualities naturally stir up wonder and excitement in our children. After all, to have such magnificent power, knowledge, and breadth is mind-boggling. However, the awe directed toward Santa in those moments is awe reserved for God. To introduce a person to our children who essentially shares these attributes with God is, practically speaking, to split their worship and dilute their affections. Considering that the Lord is a jealous God (Deuteronomy 4:24) who gives his glory to no other (Isaiah 42:8), it seems wise to avoid heading in this direction.
““There’s no room for grace in Santa’s world. And so there’s no room for Santa in my kids’ world.””
2. Santa operates in a works-based system.
Continuing with the song referenced above, we see these lyrics as well:
He's making a list and checking it twice
Gonna find out who's naughty and nice
We all know Santa’s method, right? The good kids get presents, and the bad kids get coal in their stockings. While it’s pretty clear that Santa never ends up actually giving coal to anyone, the message is still reiterated across the board. Many parents, no doubt, have resorted to threats of coal when their kids act out during the holiday season. In the end, Santa's operation is what Christians refer to as a works-based system.
The problem is that this system runs contrary to the gospel message that we so desperately want our kids to embrace. So we have Santa, who gives according to our good deeds. And we have God, who gives according to his great grace.
We tell our kids that Jesus saves sinners by grace (Ephesians 2:8), but then we promote a works-based system in our celebration of Jesus’ birth. Salvation is free (Romans 6:23), but Christmas presents must be earned.
Santa rewards good kids.
Jesus rescues bad kids.
Santa’s gifts are earned.
Jesus’ gifts are unmerited.
I wanna avoid sending my children such mixed messages. There’s no room for grace in Santa’s world. And so there’s no room for Santa in my kids’ world.
Christmas Now
Believe it or not, Santa still shows up in my house on Christmas morning.
After reading the biblical account of Jesus’ birth to my family, I generally bring up Santa Claus, and I ask my kids why we don’t follow our culture’s typical Christmas pattern. I draw their attention to the fact that we always wanna be honest with them and that Santa doesn’t align with that goal. I then proceed to explain Santa’s message and describe his gift-giving system. Lastly, I segue into better news for my children. The best news.
I make sure they know that none of us are good enough to earn love and life and all of the blessings we receive from God.
I make sure they know that we’re all “naughty” on God’s list, yet in love he sent his Son to save us and nailed our lists to the cross (Colossians 2:13-14).
I make sure they know that Jesus took the “coal” we deserved and traded us the "present" we didn’t deserve.
I explain grace to them. I explain faith to them.
Ultimately, Santa becomes the bad news, and Jesus brings the good news.
Finally, before we open presents, I let my kids know that Mommy and Daddy seek to emulate God’s grace during the Christmas season. We share with them that we haven’t based their presents on their good or bad behavior. Rather, we emphasize that their presents are given out of pure love and grace, as well as gratitude for the salvation that we ourselves have freely received.
And then we go to town.
Merry Christmas.
